Well folks, I solved the problem;
A. The relay is under the dash on the passenger side and is held in a bracket'
B. There are a number of relays and SOME but not all are interchangeable. Any number of suppliers have them from $110 to $125'' I found a used one for $50.00 works great..

Just to curious, I took the old one apart to see what.. the design is a go no go, so a working used one is as servicable as a new one..NO adjustments, all diodes and two magnet connectors..